Contradiction in Human Life

 The contradiction in human life stems from the disparity between our true nature, our beliefs, and our actions. Human existence broadly comprises two fundamental components: (a) the physical body, which is tangible and visible to the external world, and (b) the subtle form, which encompasses all other aspects, including the mind and, at the deepest level, consciousness—most commonly referred to as the soul. This subtle form enables human beings to perform all functions through the physical faculties and senses. With the passage of time, both the physical body and the mind age. As age increases, the body naturally degenerates. Similarly, the mind also ages, losing its ability to comprehend situations, ultimately leading to disease and death.

Thus, we enter this world with a body at birth and relinquish it at death. The period between these two processes is what we call life. It is during this period that we develop attachment to material things. This attachment initiates suffering due to the fear of losing these possessions, which inevitably occurs at some point. Furthermore, we observe that at birth we bring nothing but our physical body, and at death we physically carry nothing with us, as the body is left behind. The contradiction then is: why are we so inclined to attach ourselves to various objects, material wealth, and possessions, knowing full well that everything will be left behind when death comes?

The purpose behind acquiring various possessions, material wealth, and property can only be one: to console ourselves that our next generation will enjoy what we leave behind for them, ensuring it does not go to waste. However, the suffering encountered in maintaining these possessions throughout our lives is enormous, affecting us both physically and mentally. The desire for acquiring all material possessions, properties, name, fame, and social status arises in the mind as demands for the fulfillment of our ego's needs—an ominous mental attribute common to all human beings. Only a spiritual person who has relinquished ego concurrently has very few material needs, like the sages. Such an individual is more inclined to their social purpose, focusing on doing good for society at large. Consequently, the spiritual person does not undergo the enormous physical and mental suffering experienced by the worldly person and is, therefore, a much happier person than the common worldly individual.

Thus, we see that meaning and happiness in life come not from material possession and accumulation of property, since they serve only self-interest and fulfil only our ego. As products of society, we certainly owe a moral responsibility to contribute by paying back in the best possible way we are able to. This contribution gives meaning and purpose to our lives, providing an enormous level of happiness. This could be the only way to free ourselves from the trap of contradiction in life.

CONTROLLING THE MIND AND SENSES AND WHAT ARE ITS BENEFITS

 

Controlling the Mind and Senses and Its Benefits

Our body, as we know from experience, is intimately connected with the five senses, which play a pivotal role in all our physical and mental activities. As sentient beings, we are conditioned by the strong belief that our existence is defined by our physical form—the body. The functioning of the body is manifested through the senses. Every activity that a person engages in during the waking hours of the day involves one or more of these five senses. The senses become associated with the thoughts related to the activity, giving rise to emotions that direct those thoughts and ultimately lead to action.

Whenever the mind encounters something pleasurable, it generates positive emotions such as happiness, satisfaction, or motivation. Conversely, when it encounters something unpleasant or painful, it produces negative emotions such as despair, shock, frustration, or sorrow. If human beings were always given a choice, they would naturally prefer experiences that bring happiness and avoid those that cause suffering. However, such a choice is impossible because everything in nature is constantly changing. Whether in the external world or within the mind itself, change is inevitable. Physical illness also causes suffering, but in this discussion we shall focus only on the mental aspects.

The very foundation of the physical world is perpetual change. Everything is in a continuous state of flow and is therefore transient or impermanent. This reality demands that human beings develop the ability to adapt to constant change. Unfortunately, most people find this difficult because the mind is often emotionally fragile. Even the anticipation of an adverse event, or the experience of one in the present, can produce anxiety, fear, despair, or sorrow.

This happens because people are generally more focused on the external world than on their inner world. Whenever they perceive an event as unpleasant, fearful, or sorrowful, the senses transmit these impressions to the mind, triggering emotional reactions. These emotions then influence behaviour and often result in a negative shift in one's mental state.

Most people live with their minds operating on what is commonly called "autopilot." In this state, the mind is not under conscious control and is easily distracted by pleasant or unpleasant experiences in the external world. Because conscious awareness is weak, the individual lacks the willpower to regulate the continuous stream of thoughts. As a result, the mind constantly fluctuates between positive and negative emotional states, producing frequent changes in mood.

One of the most effective ways to overcome this condition is through the practice of mindfulness, a form of meditation. During mindfulness practice, attention is gently directed inward, allowing the senses to withdraw from excessive involvement with the external world. As the senses become calm, the mind also becomes peaceful. Gradually, anxiety about the future and regret over the past begin to diminish because the mind learns to rest in the present moment—the "here and now."

By cultivating this state of present-moment awareness, an individual develops greater control over the mind and is less easily distracted by external circumstances. Attention shifts from the ever-changing external world to the inner self, creating harmony between the mind and the body.

The greatest benefit of controlling the mind and senses is the reduction of suffering. A disciplined and mindful mind develops greater resilience and adaptability, enabling a person to face life's inevitable challenges with calmness, clarity, and equanimity. Rather than being overwhelmed by changing circumstances, such a person responds with wisdom and balance, thereby experiencing greater inner peace and lasting well-being.

IMPERMANENCE AND NON-ATTACHMENT

One of the most fundamental truths about nature is captured in a short statement by this Ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus:

                        "Everything flows."

This simple observation suggests that nothing in nature remains static. Everything is in a state of continuous change. When we say that everything “flows,” we mean that everything is impermanent—it changes from what it was before.

Human beings, however, tend to hold on to whatever they find pleasant and resist letting it go. As a result, they become physically or emotionally attached to people, possessions, events, and ideas. Yet whatever we become attached to is also subject to change. Nothing remains the same forever because change is an unavoidable law of nature. Time continually transforms all things, and no one can stop this process.

Most people are not fully conscious of this reality. They assume, often unconsciously, that what they value will remain unchanged. When change inevitably occurs, they experience disappointment, anxiety, and suffering. In this sense, attachment becomes the beginning of suffering.

The opposite of attachment is non-attachment, or the ability to let go without clinging. Practicing non-attachment does not mean indifference or lack of care; rather, it means appreciating things while accepting their impermanent nature. This attitude marks the beginning of freedom from unnecessary suffering.

However, cultivating non-attachment is not easy. It requires a conscious effort to overcome deeply conditioned patterns of thought and behavior. Changing one's mental outlook and relinquishing the habit of clinging demand patience, awareness, and continuous practice.

Minimalism is richness.

 

                                      That man is the richest whose 

                                         pleasures are the cheapest.

                                                   ---- Henry David Thoreau. 

The topic per se sounds rather counterintuitive. In the perception of today's materialistic world, how can a person practice "minimalism " but be rich? . This is what I am  going to put in today

Why is minimalism richness? This is very much contrary to the present-day perception, because the present age is that of consumerism, where the dictum ' More is good' is what people prefer to pursue. Hence, that leads to only material richness. Which, as per them, can help to be happy in life; this is an erroneous perception that time would prove to them. These individuals are very likely unaware of the drawbacks of the present-day principle of MORE IS GOOD. That is what I would like to put here succinctly to emphasize the fact that what this American philosopher Thoreau has stated in the above quote is very much right.  Material richness on the surface appears very alluring and hence worth chasing for, to be happy in life. And this is the very reason most people think of it most of the time: how to gain more and more, which, in their thinking, would bring them a higher level of happiness. This is true for the time being, but with the passage of time and increased age, this very person no longer finds that level of happiness which he had when he achieved it. But what is the reason for this lower level of happiness now? He realizes that with time and age, the priorities of life have changed because of changes in situations, both in professional and personal life. Hence, to cope with it, a change in perspective has become necessary. This is something he fails to realize in his ensuing situation. This is why he is no longer as happy as he was when he had the highest level of materialistic achievement with his peak performance in his professional career and acceptability in social circles. What matters at this stage of life are the human values and the genuinely good relationships that one has been able to add to his life, instead of material and monetary values. And this is what leads him to the lasting level of happiness.

RELATION OF HAPPINESS TO INNER SELF

 

                          “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it’s all within yourself,

                                                   In your way of thinking”

                 -------- Marcus Aurelius

 

The above quote by Marcus Aurelius is very significant, but perhaps not many people may be able to understand the profound importance of these words. It means that, man creates his own happiness and it does not come from any source from the external world, but from the way he thinks about the condition he is in.  The issue I would like to address here is why happiness comes from the inside and not from the external world's glitter, glamour, and materialistic affluence. Well, that is primarily because most human beings are mentally conditioned to the external world. And that is why the sense of pleasure and materialistic desires have become the objects of gratification that pleases the mind, the most. But in chasing these, only a few people realize that these are only transient and the pleasure derived from these are temporary, as these fade away fast with time. And after that, the reason for happiness no longer persists, it also evaporates very fast, leaving us again back to square one.

A wise man realizes this and so abstains from chasing sense and materialistic gratification as a futile endeavor that brings only momentary happiness. 

First of all, let me put in a very simple and generalised language what happiness means. It can be stated as " the experience of a positive emotion generated in the mind in the absence of any physical discomfort and also being in a mentally stable state (free from any worries and anxieties) that a person is at any moment" . This is also accompanied by a sense of joy.

Now putting into proper perspective that includes all dimensions of happiness, as stated by an American psychologist in the following words.

“ Happiness is to do things that are harmonious with who we are, with what we can do, with what we like, and with what we think is right.”

                                      ----- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (spelled as “Chick-sent-me-high”)

 When suffering from any physical discomfort or mentally unstable state, he would not experience a sense of happiness. Because the mind would be focused on the body or on whatever thought that is destabilizing the mind. And that, till the time these persist, happiness would prove to be something elusive.

A wise person dwells in the inner self because he knows that true happiness comes from the bliss experienced by dwelling in the deepest core of the inner self. And that is because he realizes that happiness arises from something related to his own identity. That is the reason why the source of happiness has to originate from the inner self if it has to impart a lasting elevation of the mental state. In this way, it deviates from the sense of pleasure that comes from reasons that are in the external world.

Our self-identity is related to the nature of our perception of realities experienced by us. Giving up the pleasures and comforts of the external world is a matter of mental deconditioning. Hence, it can be given up to a certain extent, retaining only the minimum requirements for the sake of self-sustenance. The deconditioning of the mind is possible through physical and mental restraint. We should focus more on the inner self by calming the mind from all deviations of the external world. The best way to achieve this is through the practice of meditation because, during this practice, the senses are drawn inwards into the mind (i.e. senses are non-judgmental now), which thus becomes reinforced to focus on the inner self. And this brings in a state of bliss that is much more profound than the happiness experienced by the external world.

Below is a link to a book for the practice of Mindful meditation for beginners.

Mindful Meditation for Beginners

OVERTHINKING AND ITS REMEDY

          Controlling the mind for most people is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks. Overthinking that people engage in, happens quite unawarely and by default, since they cannot control it by their will. So what to do in such a situation.  The below quote could be their starting point to begin with if they wish to overcome it, which would happen over a period of time by practising to control their mind. But then things are more easily said than done. So the below-given aspects however would certainly help them in this endeavour.                                  

                                               Get out of your head and breathe,

                                        All your thoughts are not facts.

                                        Tune into what’s happening right now.

                                        Pay attention to your senses and practise

                                         being in the present.

                                                                                     ---------- Ash Alves.

 The above quotation implies the need to avoid overthinking and to start living in the present moment. Thinking, as we all know is a spontaneous mental process that happens all through our waking hours of day and night. But not all the thinking that man indulges in is on things that are relevant to him at the given point in time. By a simple definition,  I may state that “Overthinking is the thought process that man indulges which is irrelevant, maybe even harmful and causes meaningless distraction of the mind from the important activity that he should have engaged in”.  

And it is this that man needs to restraint himself from indulging in and endeavour for a meaningful utilization of time and his mental energy

Let us go a little deeper into the subject to understand it better. The different aspects that lead to overthinking include several factors that cause this spontaneous impulse.

1.      Past unpleasant events that haunt the mind.

2.      Pondering over the probable or expected events of the near or the distant future.

3.      An immediate forthcoming unpleasant situation that is unavoidable, which he has to face in his professional or personal life.

4.      Negative judgemental comments made by other people either in his professional or personal life

 The above are some of the most common reasons, but there could be innumerable other reasons for overthinking. However, these are some of the major ones so I would focus in this blog post on these aspects only.

 1.      Past unpleasant events that haunt the mind:

The mind of most people (excluding enlightened sages, monks and spiritual leaders) keeps restlessly jumping from one thought to the other like the monkey that keeps jumping from one branch to another in the tree. And unpleasant events of the past are the issues that most commonly haunt his mind and triggers overthinking. This is something that happens despite his awareness that it is something that he cannot go back to correct. It is these uncontrolled thoughts that keeps repeatedly coming back, again and again, to haunt the mind with emotions of contempt or shame or disappointment or sadness depending on the nature of the event.

 2.      Pondering over the probable or expected events of the distant future.

Pondering over some probable or expected good or bad times in the distant future, is a very potent and tempting reason for overthinking. This a person either consciously engages in or at times is unconsciously driven into because of his lack of control over his restless mind. Knowing very well that the events of the distant future are something uncertain of nature and what actions it demands, cannot be decided in the present time. But even then the unstoppable mind triggers unnecessary thinking and keeps on harping on the uncertainty, which is a meaningless mental exercise. A negative minded person is more vulnerable to such an occupation and creates illusions of the probable failure as the outcome. A positive minded person though would maintain an optimistic outlook but deliberates on the uncertainty of the situation. Both categories of people are thus in a state of mental impasse. Hence in this situation too overthinking would be a meaningless mental exercise.

 3.      An immediate forthcoming unpleasant situation that is not avoidable which a person has to face in professional or personal life.

Unpleasant situations whether ensuing or forthcoming ones are potential reasons on which people overthink, though their hindsight may tell them that those are something that are meaningless. The nature of overthinking would be different in professional and personal life since the nature of situations would be quite different. The intensity and seriousness of overthinking are more if it pertains in professional life to a situation threatening his job which would adversely impact his livelihood. The less severe situation could be one of the vitiated environments at the workplace to which he has to mentally exert himself to adjust with, till the he can find an opportunity to move off from that organisation. However, in the personal field overthinking may or may not be always meaningless since it depends again on the nature of the situation. Where things have gone to an irreparable extent in a relationship, it obviously would be beyond the control and thinking would be meaningless. A situation that is perceived to be within control thru the process of self-correction or improvement, then thinking and acting accordingly would be a meaningful exercise.

 4.      Negative judgemental comments made by people.

A negative judgemental comment and that too when made publicly are very potential reasons to instigate the person to overthink. This more particularly happens if the person due to some or the other reasons had to restraint himself at that instant from bouncing back to that person with a similar comment. In such a situation he would be constantly overthinking for finding an opportunity to avenge it.

 Having stated some of the reasons above for overthinking, I now feel the need to state the ways to avoid indulging in such meaningless mental exercise thereby causing wastage of time and mental energy. This at the fundamental level demands a perceptual shift in the thinking about the self. Following are some of the ways how this could be done.

A.     Maintain a strong will to develop an attitude to live in the “Here and Now” .i.e. to live in the present moment at any given point in time. Not to dwell on past unpleasant events or future uncertainties.

B.     Come what may, always remember these famous words of Buddha “All things arise and pass away”. Not to take any events too personally as this does no good, as it affects the physical health and disturbs the mental stability.

C.     Hold on to strong reasons to maintain always a sense of positive self-image.

D.     Develop a strong sense of judgement of what is right and wrong in the given situation and always take recourse to the right path without paying heed to how people would think about it.

To develop all the above mental attributes there is a sure way to achieve it. And that is thru the practice of “Mindfulness", which is a form of meditation that is a very effective way to develop mental stability and achieve peace of mind . With this, overthinking can be effectively avoided.

To those who are keen to know about “Mindfulness", in order to have a glimpse of what it exactly is, follow the below given link.

 "Mindfulness",

 

CONTROLLING THE MIND AND DEVELOPING A HEALTHY MENTAL STATE

The mind is everything because all our perceptions of good or bad, pleasure or pain, happiness, and sorrow are experienced in the mind. Hence the below quote by a famous   English poet 

The mind is its place own place

and in itself can make a hell

of heaven or a heaven of hell

------ John Milton

In the above quote, the poet clearly states that our mental state is solely dependent on the mind itself. Through our minds, we create or reshape our reality. Our mind feeds the information to the brain which will rewire it to create reality. Thus, the reality experienced by an individual is a product of the creation or projection of the mind and interpreted by the brain irrespective of the actual world that is out there. If a person constantly complains or gossips or finds excuses for not wanting to do the assigned task, that will make it easier for him to find things even with the smallest reason to get upset about, regardless of the actual happenings. These are negative mental attributes. Conversely, if a person constantly looks for opportunities, abundance, and love to be grateful for, that would make it easier to find a reflection of those things in the surroundings. These are positive attributes. All these may be more easily said than done. Practicing and implementing positive attributes over time becomes a powerful way to change reality. These would lead to positivity and thus would be conducive to maintaining a healthy mental state.   But the point remains is, how not to slide down back into the mental trap of developing negative attributes. This is possible by trying to maintain a sustained positivity that would enable the development of a constant positive mental state. The following are some of the factors that can help develop this.

1.     Awareness of factors that are not under human control and those that are under human control.

2.     Positive self-image.

3.     Acceptance of all change whether pleasant or unpleasant as part of a natural process.

4.     Social acceptability should not be considered a criterion for judging self-credibility. 

5.     Reinforce the factors that are under human control.

6.     Consider life as a journey and not the destination to be reached in competition with others.

            Now, let's go deeper into each of the above factors to elaborate on the ways to achieve  a healthy mental state.

 

1.     Awareness of factors under human control and those that are not under human control.

This has been very succinctly put into perspective by Buddha and are best depicted in a video, the link for which is given below.

Things that can't be  controlled and those that can be controlled

A)       FACTORS UNDER HUMAN CONTROL

                 “We have control over three things in our lives and those are; our thoughts

                   that comes from the way we think, the images that we visualize in our mind’s eye, 

                  and the actions that we take and the way we react to any situation”.

      On the other side, things that are not in our control are as under

 B)    FACTORS NOT UNDER HUMAN CONTROL

Ø           How people treat you, their actions and reactions, thoughts, feelings,    likes, dislikes, and opinions.

Ø        Time is the eternal flowing parameter of nature that drives all our senses of pleasure and pain; good and bad times, joy and suffering, birth and death, etc.

Ø        Nature and its reality. All the phenomenon of nature like the cycle of seasons change, on the one hand, brings benefit to human beings but on the other hand, the unpredictable events of nature which include calamities like floods, earthquakes, cyclones, and epidemics that cause much suffering, loss of life, and properties.

 

2.     POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE.

The self-image of a person is a very important aspect that navigates his attitude and behavior in every situation and very much depends on the belief in himself. And a sense of positivity in the own self is very important because that induces a motivating drive and confidence to move forward with the situation  which he faces, at any given moment. When in a positive mental state, the nature of the situation whether good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant does not adversely affect the motivational spirit of the person. Hence it is a major factor in developing a healthy mental state.

 3.     ACCEPTANCE OF CHANGE PLEASANT OR UNPLEASANT

Any change that occurs in the surroundings is in the very nature of everything around us and so it will change whether we like or want it or not,  that’s immaterial. And so it is not in human control. Everything in nature is inherently impermanent or transient and so has to change with time. Change is a nature’s process through which the manifestation of time becomes visible and events occur throughout our life. With the flow of time, the present becomes the past the next moment, and the future becomes the present and gradually slips into the past to become memories. By readily accepting this process a person can align a sense of positivity to life’s process and hence a healthy mental state.

 

4.     Social acceptability should not be considered a criterion for judging self-credibility

A conscientious, honest, and right-thinking person does not need to depend on social acceptability as an assessment of his credibility. For such a person self-assessment of his attitude and behavior for his coarse correction whenever and wherever necessary,  is sufficient to establish his credibility. The other major reason why social

acceptability should not be considered is, that different persons have different types of bias for a person based on their liking or disliking of that person. And so this is liable to be fraught with an erroneous judgment.  A person going by this judgment may be led wrongly in a direction that could prove harmful for him in the long run. This realization at some later stage of his life could bring in concomitant mental unrest leading to an unhealthy mental state.

 

5.     Reinforce the factors that are under human control

The above-stated factors stated by Buddha ( refer above in 1A and 1B) are the tools that human beings need to accept and adapt to prevent themselves from sliding into negativity and despair. This in turn could lead him to a mentally unhealthy state. And so, even in adversity or unpleasant situations in life what matters is how we react and respond without affecting the inner peace.

6. Consider life as a journey and not the destination to be reached  in competition  

      with others

Why should life be considered a journey and not a destination to be reached in competition with others?

The life of every individual is different in every respect whether personal, social, or professional. It depends on innumerable factors, like the family in which a person takes birth, his family upbringing, education, professional world, social stature, the outlook a person develops towards life, etc. The situations and circumstances that a person faces in different spheres of his activities are different.   And hence why the life of one person cannot be compared with another person. So there cannot a competition of one person with another person on any matter, whatsoever it may be. Also, there is no destination to reach. Life is a continuous process of journey that every individual passes through right from birth to the end of life which eventually happens with death. So life, as can be seen from the above details, is a continuous process involving a myriad of activities in innumerable fields and there is no destination because that would mean the cessation of activities since he has reached the end of life. But this is obviously not true,  because all throughout there is a provision for continuous self-development to improve the quality of life till the very end.

 

                                                

 

HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY MENTAL STATE

                                                                The mind is its place own place

  and in itself can make a hell

 of heaven or a heaven of hell

                           ------ John Milton

In the above quote, the poet clearly states that the quality of our mental state is solely dependent on the mind. Thru our minds, we create or reshape our reality. Our mind feeds the information to the brain which will rewire it to create reality. If a person constantly complains or gossips or finds excuses for not wanting to do the assigned task, that will make it easier to find things even with the smallest ones to get upset about, regardless of the actual happenings around. These are negative mental attributes. Conversely, if a person constantly looks for opportunities, abundance, and love to be grateful for, that would make it easier to find a reflection of those things in the surrounding. These are positive attributes. Though all these are more easily said than done. But practicing and implementing positive attributes over a period of time becomes a powerful way to change reality. These would lead to positivity and thus would be conducive to maintaining a healthy mental state.   But the point remains is, how not to slide down into the mental trap of developing negative attributes. This is possible by trying to maintain a sustainable positivity that would enable the development of a constant positive mental state. Following are some of the factors that can help in developing this.

1.     Awareness of factors that are not under human control and those that are under human control.

2.     Positive self-image.

3.     Acceptance of all change whether pleasant or unpleasant.

4.     Not to consider social acceptability as the criteria for judging 

       an individual’s credibility.

5.     Reinforce the factors that are under human control.

6.     Consider life as a journey and not the destination to be reached 

      in competition with others.

            Now, let's go deeper into each of the above factors to elaborate on the ways to achieve

          a healthy mental state.

 

1.     Awareness of factors under human control and those that are not under human control.

This has been very succinctly put into perspective by Buddha, which I am quoting below. These are best depicted in a video, the link for which is given below.

Things that can't be  controlled and those that can be controlled

A)       FACTORS UNDER HUMAN CONTROL

                 “We have control over three things in our lives and those are; our thoughts

                   that comes from the way we think, the images that we visualize in our mind’s eye, 

                  and the actions that we take and the way we react to any situation”.

                B)    FACTORS NOT UNDER HUMAN CONTROL

Ø           How people treat you, their actions and reactions, thoughts, feelings, their 

         likes, dislikes, and opinions.

Ø        Time is the eternal flowing parameter of nature that drives all our senses of pleasure and pain; good and bad times, joy and suffering birth and death, etc.

Ø        Nature and its reality. All the phenomenon of nature like the cycle of season change, on the one hand, brings benefit to human beings but on the other hand, the unpredictable events of nature which include calamities like floods, earthquakes, cyclones, and epidemics that cause loss of life, and properties.

 

2.     POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE.

The self-image of a person is a very important aspect that navigates his attitude and behavior in every situation, and it very much depends on his own beliefs. And a sense of positivity in the own self is very important because that induces motivating drive and confidence to move forward with the situation in which he is, at any given moment.  With such a mental state, the nature of the situation whether good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant does not affect the motivational spirit of the person. Hence it is a major factor in developing a healthy mental state.

 3.     ACCEPTANCE OF CHANGE PLEASANT OR UNPLEASANT

Any change that occurs in the surroundings is in the very nature of everything around us and so it will change whether we like or want it or not that’s immaterial. And so it is not in human control, except those that have been initiated by actions of  that individual. Everything in nature is inherently impermanent or transient and so has to change with time. Change is nature’s process through which the manifestation of time becomes visible and events occur throughout our life. The present becomes the past in the next moment, and the future becomes the present and gradually slips into the past to become memories. By readily accepting this process a person can align a sense of positivity to life’s process and hence a healthy mental state.

 

4.     Social acceptability is not the criteria for judging a person’s credibility

A conscientious, honest, and right-thinking person does not need to depend on social acceptability as an assessment of his credibility. For such a person self-assessment of his attitude and behavior for his coarse correction when necessary, is sufficient to establish his credibility. The other major reason why social acceptability should not be considered is, that different persons have different types of bias for a particular person, based on their liking or disliking of that person. And so this is liable to be fraught with an erroneous judgment.  A person going by this judgment may be led wrongly in a direction that could prove harmful for him in the long run. This realization at some later stage of his life could bring in concomitant mental unrest leading to an unhealthy mental state.

5.     Reinforce the factors that are under human control

The three factors stated by Buddha (depicted in the video clip), are the tools that human beings need to accept and adapt to, in order to prevent themselves from sliding into negativity and despair. This in turn could lead him to a mentally healthy state. 

And so, even in adversity or unpleasant situations in life, what matters is how we react and respond without affecting the inner peace

6. Consider life as a journey and not the destination to be reached in competition 

     with others

Why should life be considered a journey and not a destination to be reached in competition with others?

The life of every individual is different in every respect whether personal, social, or professional. It depends on innumerable factors, like the family in which a person takes birth, his family upbringing, education, professional world, social stature, the outlook a person develops towards life, etc. A person's situations and circumstances in different spheres of his activities are different.  These justifies the reason why the life of one person cannot be compared with another person. And so there cannot a competition with another person on any matter, whatsoever it may be. Also, there is no destination to reach. Life is a continuous process that every individual passes through right from birth to the end of life which eventually is terminated by death. So life, as can be seen from the above details, is a continuous process involving a myriad of activities in innumerable fields and there is no destination because that would mean the cessation of activities since he has reached the end of life. But this is obviously not true,  because all throughout life there is a provision for continuous self-development to improve the quality of life till the very end. Holding this outlook would enable the development of a healthy and positive mental state 

                                                

TWO IMPORTANT MENTAL ATTRIBUTES- LOGIC AND EMOTIONS

 

When dealing with human affairs

Remember- You are not dealing

With creatures of not logic but emotions.

                                                              -- Dale Carnegie                    

The two most important mental attributes of human beings are logic and emotions. All mental activities that the human beings engage in, arises from one or the other of these attributes. The former is governed by the intellect seated in the head whereas the latter is governed by the senses that seated in the heart. The decision that governs his choice of the attribute in any situation depends on the inherent nature of the person whether he is more rational and goes always by the logic or he is more sensitive and goes by emotions only. Besides the nature of the person there one more factor that dictates the attribute he chooses to adopt. And that is the perspective that a person beholds irrespective of the type, place and nature of person involved in the situation. The demands of situation could be different in a professional and that in personal world which includes the society and within the family. Because the cultural environment would be dissimilar in every type of environment. But in every type of environment the common factor is, it requires dealing with human beings and their inter-relations and hence emotions are an important factor that has to be taken into consideration. It may differ only in degree in the above stated three different types of environments. In fact, in the professional world the need is to have a balanced state of mind that deploys both logic and emotions, for making a judicious decision of what is right and so should or should not be done. Because in the professional world the underlying objective of all activities is benefits to the organization, the sustainability of which is directly related to his livelihood from the profit that the organization makes in order to stay afloat in the business world.

Now looking at it from a different perspective, what should a person do in a conflicting situation? More often the two are in contradiction to one another and in such a situation a person is in a dilemma whether to go by logic or emotions. One of the best quotes put forth by the famous social reformer and an enlightened spiritual giant of India Swami Vivekananda is as follows.

         “IN A CONFLICT SITUATION BETWEEN THE HEART AND THE BRAIN,  

           FOLLOW YOUR HEART”

In the personal world, whether in social circle or inside a family, emotion is a more important attribute. Here, unlike the professional world here the situation is entirely different. The primary objective here is sustainability of harmonious relationship either with life partner, other members of the family or others in the society. This is in general the way most sensitive and intelligent people go about in their personal world. In this world the above stated primary objective is of paramount importance. And so this calls for sensitivity to emotions of the other person and deal people with more compassion (which is a higher level of positive emotion) and consideration when the situation demands. The ultimate objective should be a decision that does not cause harm to any person.

Furthermore there are also slightly different type of  people who have a mental inclination to rise beyond self and the family so as to pay back to the society for all that he has got from it. And with this thinking he selflessly devotes himself to activities with an intension to serve the under privileged class of people in the society. And for engaging in such activities, he applies the intellect with logic as upliftment of the above stated class of people as the very purpose of his endeavor. And in practical activities at the ground level, he uses his positive emotions like compassion, love and empathy towards these people. This is the guiding motive of his voluntary engagement in this type of activity. Thus, here it can be seen that both logic and emotions are deployed in a very meaningful.

Having said all the above, but ultimately what should the common general guideline for a way forward applicable in any of the above stated type of world whether professional, societal or family relation). Well, that is something which has to be based on a harmonious blend of both logic and emotions where none of the persons involved are put at loss or harmed in any way.

WHY NOT TO LOOK AT THE NEGATIVE SIDE OF ANY SITUATION IN LIFE

                                       EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY IN HUMAN AFFAIRS

SO, THERE SHOULD BE NO ELATION IN

PROSPERITY OR DEPRESSION IN

ADVERSITY.

         -        SOCRATES.

          To look at the positive or negative side of any difficult situation in life is exclusively a matter of individual choice. But a person who realises the fact what has been stated in the above quote would perhaps not find it more difficult to hold his mental state in an adverse situation. The choice that the person makes depends on his perception and understanding of the situation. And the type of choice that a person makes is based on his outlook on life. This again varies from person to person and so are his /her response and reaction to the given situation. The factors that impact the type of choice that a person makes is based fundamentally on the nature and quality of his thoughts. The attributes or aspects of the THOUGHTS that dictate his understanding of a situation are as under.

1.    Imaginations.

2.    Perceptions.

3.    Beliefs.

4.    Analysis of a situation.

5.    Judgement of the situation.

 Now let us go into details of how the above aspects of thought are interrelated that lead to the ultimate reaction in the given situation. The reaction chain of a normal person in the face of an adverse situation begins with his /her imagination immediately of the negative side of it. And it happens quite spontaneously without an understanding of the situation and hence is bound to be wrong. However, an emotionally balanced person knowing and realizing the temporal nature of any event good or bad would not straightway imagine similarly but mentally explore to find a positive side to it, by making a conscious choice. Imagination leads to the formation of a perception which in turn develops into a belief as a consequence. Now, a person with a negative outlook or an emotionally sensitive person would not be in the mental state to go deeper into analyzing and looking towards finding a way out of it because his emotional, mental and physical state prevents him. This is in contrast to a positive-minded person, who with his analysis-based understanding of the situation would not lose hope and consider it a hopeless situation. As the saying goes “All dark clouds have a silver lining”. He would instead with his positivity go forth towards finding a positive side to the whole situation The judgment that a wise person makes after his analysis of the situation would dictate his reaction, who knows that the storm of bad times will pass away like a passing cloud. And so holding on with patience and perseverance is the only way to overcome it. Whereas the emotional person with a negative outlook is mentally fragile thru his negative imagination and perception forms a belief in the negative direction and would react with an emotional outburst instead of analyzing the situation and judging his own mental response before making a proper reaction.

Below is the link to a video clip that depicts the story of a physically disabled king who is depicted by a painter in such a way that his physical disability is not visible in the painting. That is why the king rewards the painter's ingenuity by only depicting his positive side and hiding his physical disability.

YOU WILL NEVER THINK NEGATIVELY after watching this motivational story

SOURCES AND DIMENSIONS OF HUMAN SUFFERING

                                            " ALL THINGS ARISE AND PASS AWAY"

                                                                           --- Buddha

The above quote from Buddha though sounds very simple, yet it is very profound. It is telling us how to face and react to suffering. 

Sufferings are an integral part of human life which comes and goes cyclically alternating with periods of pleasure. This is the balance that happens through a natural process during our lifetime.  But to understand this unpleasant and unwelcome aspect of our life, we need to first know exactly what it is actually. Let me define it in a general simple term.

“Suffering is that affliction which impacts the body or mind or both simultaneously that is caused by innumerable factors which could be from within our body or from  external factors that may be things; events; people or ideas.”

No human being is inherently adaptive to suffering in any form or from any source. But there is wisdom  in accepting the inevitable reality that suffering is a part of human life and so acceptance of the same with fortitude is the only way forward. For a wise person, adaptation comes sooner than an average normal person because he (the former) is always aware of the unpleasant inevitabilities of life. The sooner this fact is realised by a normal person, the sooner he recovers from the shock of it.

But to have a better understanding in some depth the issue of human suffering, we need to go into the details of various sources that cause this affliction.

Broadly speaking, the sources are as follows.

A.   A.  From own body and mind.

B.    B. From the outside world that is beyond our control.

C.   C. Time, past, present, and future.

D.    D. Natural calamities.

 

A.    From own body and mind.

This can be further classified into two sub-sources, as follows.

                             i.          From mental misbalances in the absence of physical ailments.

                           ii.           Mental impact originating from physical ailments.

 

                            i.          From mental misbalances in the absence of physical ailments

When mental issues occur (in the absence of any physical problem) the reason can be from an external source due to certain unexpected and unpleasant events over which he may or may not have had any control to avert it. The other dimension of it could be due to some imagination of an untoward event, which may or may not at all have any probability of occurrence. These are illusory manifestations in the mind without anything to do with the reality of the situation. And hence absolutely baseless. Such people need to undergo psychiatric treatment.

                           ii.          Mental impact originating from physical ailments.

However physical ailments are more often the potent source that causes a mental impact and brings suffering which manifests externally as visible symptoms that deserve medical attention.  A more emotional person is more often mentally more fragile and hence is more affected. Conversely, an emotionally stable person is less impacted because of his higher level of mental strength achieved through enhancing his level of tolerance to the impact of the physical ailment.

 

B.    From the outside world that is beyond the control

This is the biggest source from which suffering could come. That could be from a near and dear person (a relation), a friend, society at large, or the professional world. And the reason could be due to innumerable reasons and situations. And when there is no way to change or avert the situation, i.e., it is beyond the control, the way to handle them is best stated in the below-given quote  

 

 WHEN WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO CHANGE A SITUATION

 WE ARE CHALLENGED TO CHANGE OURSELVES.

-          Viktor Frankl.

In the above quote, by the words " Challenged to change," the author means that what matters in such a situation is our reaction.

C.    Time, past and future

Time is nature's parameter that eternally flows in the forward direction. And this has three fundamental attributes that impact all creatures on earth: the past, present, and future.

And this has special importance for human beings, as for them, everything in life is related to what has happened, happenings or would happen. The present is the most valuable aspect since that is in our control to utilise and manage it to the best of our abilities. The future has not yet come and so is also not in his hand and is full of uncertainties. Hence except for the present, the other two are not in our control. Suffering in the present most often comes from unpleasant memories of past events or past actions. 

 

D.    Natural calamities

Nature is all-powerful and has a pattern of the way it operates, that causes a change of season that has an enormous impact on all living creatures on earth. Man is dependent on nature and never the reverse. At certain times the vagaries of nature cause calamities like floods, earthquakes and hurricanes that cause unimaginable devastation of life and property. And these are events over which humanity has no control. They bring too much suffering to mankind

  But, how should we react to every type of  situation (pleasant and unpleasant) is best presented in the video clip in the link which is given below.

How "YOU WILL NEVER FEEL SAD IN HARD TIMES "  i.e. in suffering.

         

 

WHAT HUMAN BEINGS CANNOT AND WHAT HE CAN CONTROL

 

The human mind is very flickering and keeps jumping from one thing to the other. That is why frequently the mood shifts from the moment of happiness or sadness; pleasure or pain; delightful or dejected; anger or calmness; hatred or compassion etc. These are some of the innumerable mental reactions that occur because of factors of the external world or inner world due to arousal of emotions as a reaction to the corresponding situation. And these happen within an individual inadvertently because of his inability to control the mind. We all know that the most difficult thing to control in the world for a human being is his mind. The fundamental reason for this is his unawareness of factors that are not within his control and those that are within his control so that he can accordingly exercise his intellect to tame his mind when necessary. And so restrain from reacting to things or situations that are not in his control. Conversely, respond accordingly to situations of nature that demands his reaction or intervention.

First, we will go into detail about factors that are not under his control.

1. Controlling people.

2. Controlling time.

3. Controlling nature.

 

We will discuss here the nature of interaction with the above factors to understand why these are not under human control.

 

Controlling people.

In a democratic society, every individual has the freedom to express his or her opinions, suggestions or reactions. But most people deploying these attributes of freedom want to run everything as per their terms and try to maintain control over other person’s thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions, likes and dislikes etc. Before behaving in this way, we should know if we need to control the other person or should we control ourselves?

It is common human nature to control everything except ourselves. And that is why we land in a sad and disturbed state with mental unrest. The truth is we don’t have control over every aspect of our lives, so how are we to control others with whom we interact. There are a lot of things that lie beyond an individual’s control. The real fallout of the above-stated behaviour of what we do without realising that in this way we want to be controlled by them. This is because when the other person refuses to act according to us, we feel mentally disturbed in not having been able to control the person and thus indirectly we get controlled by that person. Thus in this situation, our freedom and hence peace of mind depends on that person or thing that we wanted to control, but are not able to. Another dimension to this issue is the fact is, how that person treats you is also not in your control.

Thus the sad reality would continue to remain and make our lives woefully unhappy. So it is worthwhile accepting and start practising to stop controlling others and focus on controlling self. This would enable us to come out of the mental unrest that develops inside us from time to time and would enable us to access more peace in our minds.

 

Controlling time

We human beings have no control over time, i.e. the past and future. What has happened in the past cannot come back and so is not possible to change. Thus it is better to LET GO of the past.  Similarly, the future can only be anticipated with a certain amount of probability, it can never be foreknown with certainty hence cannot be controlled. So at best be prepared with a positive and stable state of mind and wait for the unfolding of the future.

Time is an eternal parameter of nature manifested in flow as an eternal process and hence cannot be controlled by man. At best it can be managed to make the best possible use of it.

 

Controlling nature.

Human beings cannot control nature or the nature of reality. All phenomena of nature like the cycles of season changes on one hand that brings immense benefit to human beings, on the other hand, brings unpredictable events in calamities like floods, earthquakes, cyclones and epidemics that cause tremendous suffering, loss of life and property. Human beings at best take steps to prevent or reduce the impact on them by taking precautionary measures but cannot prevent their occurrence.

 The above factors that human beings are subjected to, with no control on their occurrence or prevention, the best way to respond to are to accept them and let go. And this mental approach is the only option we human beings are left with.

 Well, now we would go into the factors that are under human control.

As per Buddha, three things in human life is under the control and those are; the thoughts that come from the way we think, the images that we visualise in the mind and the action that we take.

Thus, from the above, we can see that the best course that should be adopted in life is to engage ourselves in only those factors that are under our control. And in this way free ourselves from sadness and mental unrest by letting go of what all cannot be controlled. Adopting this attitude enables us to lead a life of mental peace and happiness.