HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY MENTAL STATE

                                                                The mind is its place own place

  and in itself can make a hell

 of heaven or a heaven of hell

                           ------ John Milton

In the above quote, the poet clearly states that the quality of our mental state is solely dependent on the mind. Thru our minds, we create or reshape our reality. Our mind feeds the information to the brain which will rewire it to create reality. If a person constantly complains or gossips or finds excuses for not wanting to do the assigned task, that will make it easier to find things even with the smallest ones to get upset about, regardless of the actual happenings around. These are negative mental attributes. Conversely, if a person constantly looks for opportunities, abundance, and love to be grateful for, that would make it easier to find a reflection of those things in the surrounding. These are positive attributes. Though all these are more easily said than done. But practicing and implementing positive attributes over a period of time becomes a powerful way to change reality. These would lead to positivity and thus would be conducive to maintaining a healthy mental state.   But the point remains is, how not to slide down into the mental trap of developing negative attributes. This is possible by trying to maintain a sustainable positivity that would enable the development of a constant positive mental state. Following are some of the factors that can help in developing this.

1.     Awareness of factors that are not under human control and those that are under human control.

2.     Positive self-image.

3.     Acceptance of all change whether pleasant or unpleasant.

4.     Not to consider social acceptability as the criteria for judging 

       an individual’s credibility.

5.     Reinforce the factors that are under human control.

6.     Consider life as a journey and not the destination to be reached 

      in competition with others.

            Now, let's go deeper into each of the above factors to elaborate on the ways to achieve

          a healthy mental state.

 

1.     Awareness of factors under human control and those that are not under human control.

This has been very succinctly put into perspective by Buddha which I am quoting below. These are best depicted in a video, the link for which is given below.

Things that can't be  controlled and those that can be controlled

A)       FACTORS UNDER HUMAN CONTROL

                 “We have control over three things in our lives and those are; our thoughts

                   that comes from the way we think, the images that we visualize in our mind’s eye, 

                  and the actions that we take and the way we react to any situation”.

                B)    FACTORS NOT UNDER HUMAN CONTROL

Ø           How people treat you, their actions and reactions, thoughts, feelings, their 

         likes, dislikes, and opinions.

Ø        Time is the eternal flowing parameter of nature that drives all our senses of pleasure and pain; good and bad times, joy and suffering birth and death, etc.

Ø        Nature and its reality. All the phenomenon of nature like the cycle of season change, on the one hand, brings benefit to human beings but on the other hand, the unpredictable events of nature which include calamities like floods, earthquakes, cyclones, and epidemics that cause loss of life, and properties.

 

2.     POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE.

The self-image of a person is a very important aspect that navigates his attitude and behavior in every situation, and it very much depends on his own beliefs. And a sense of positivity in the own self is very important because that induces motivating drive and confidence to move forward with the situation in which he is, at any given moment.  With such a mental state, the nature of the situation whether good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant does not affect the motivational spirit of the person. Hence it is a major factor in developing a healthy mental state.

 3.     ACCEPTANCE OF CHANGE PLEASANT OR UNPLEASANT

Any change that occurs in the surroundings is in the very nature of everything around us and so it will change whether we like or want it or not that’s immaterial. And so it is not in human control, except those that have been initiated by actions of  that individual. Everything in nature is inherently impermanent or transient and so has to change with time. Change is nature’s process through which the manifestation of time becomes visible and events occur throughout our life. The present becomes the past in the next moment, and the future becomes the present and gradually slips into the past to become memories. By readily accepting this process a person can align a sense of positivity to life’s process and hence a healthy mental state.

 

4.     Social acceptability is not the criteria for judging a person’s credibility

A conscientious, honest, and right-thinking person does not need to depend on social acceptability as an assessment of his credibility. For such a person self-assessment of his attitude and behavior for his coarse correction when necessary, is sufficient to establish his credibility. The other major reason why social acceptability should not be considered is, that different persons have different types of bias for a particular person, based on their liking or disliking of that person. And so this is liable to be fraught with an erroneous judgment.  A person going by this judgment may be led wrongly in a direction that could prove harmful for him in the long run. This realization at some later stage of his life could bring in concomitant mental unrest leading to an unhealthy mental state.

5.     Reinforce the factors that are under human control

The three factors stated by Buddha (depicted in the video clip), are the tools that human beings need to accept and adapt to, in order to prevent themselves from sliding into negativity and despair. This in turn could lead him to a mentally healthy state. 

And so, even in adversity or unpleasant situations in life, what matters is how we react and respond without affecting the inner peace

6. Consider life as a journey and not the destination to be reached in competition 

     with others

Why should life be considered a journey and not a destination to be reached in competition with others?

The life of every individual is different in every respect whether personal, social, or professional. It depends on innumerable factors, like the family in which a person takes birth, his family upbringing, education, professional world, social stature, the outlook a person develops towards life, etc. A person's situations and circumstances in different spheres of his activities are different.  These justifies the reason why the life of one person cannot be compared with another person. And so there cannot a competition with another person on any matter, whatsoever it may be. Also, there is no destination to reach. Life is a continuous process that every individual passes through right from birth to the end of life which eventually is terminated by death. So life, as can be seen from the above details, is a continuous process involving a myriad of activities in innumerable fields and there is no destination because that would mean the cessation of activities since he has reached the end of life. But this is obviously not true,  because all throughout life there is a provision for continuous self-development to improve the quality of life till the very end. Holding this outlook would enable the development of a healthy and positive mental state 

 

                                                

TWO IMPORTANT MENTAL ATTRIBUTES- LOGIC AND EMOTIONS

 

When dealing with human affairs

Remember- You are not dealing

With creatures of not logic but emotions.

                                                              -- Dale Carnegie                    

The two most important mental attributes of human beings are logic and emotions. All mental activities that the human beings engage in, arises from one or the other of these attributes. The former is governed by the intellect seated in the head whereas the latter is governed by the senses that seated in the heart. The decision that governs his choice of the attribute in any situation depends on the inherent nature of the person whether he is more rational and goes always by the logic or he is more sensitive and goes by emotions only. Besides the nature of the person there one more factor that dictates the attribute he chooses to adopt. And that is the perspective that a person beholds irrespective of the type, place and nature of person involved in the situation. The demands of situation could be different in a professional and that in personal world which includes the society and within the family. Because the cultural environment would be dissimilar in every type of environment. But in every type of environment the common factor is, it requires dealing with human beings and their inter-relations and hence emotions are an important factor that has to be taken into consideration. It may differ only in degree in the above stated three different types of environments. In fact, in the professional world the need is to have a balanced state of mind that deploys both logic and emotions, for making a judicious decision of what is right and so should or should not be done. Because in the professional world the underlying objective of all activities is benefits to the organization, the sustainability of which is directly related to his livelihood from the profit that the organization makes in order to stay afloat in the business world.

Now looking at it from a different perspective, what should a person do in a conflicting situation? More often the two are in contradiction to one another and in such a situation a person is in a dilemma whether to go by logic or emotions. One of the best quotes put forth by the famous social reformer and an enlightened spiritual giant of India Swami Vivekananda is as follows.

         “IN A CONFLICT SITUATION BETWEEN THE HEART AND THE BRAIN,  

           FOLLOW YOUR HEART”

In the personal world, whether in social circle or inside a family, emotion is a more important attribute. Here, unlike the professional world here the situation is entirely different. The primary objective here is sustainability of harmonious relationship either with life partner, other members of the family or others in the society. This is in general the way most sensitive and intelligent people go about in their personal world. In this world the above stated primary objective is of paramount importance. And so this calls for sensitivity to emotions of the other person and deal people with more compassion (which is a higher level of positive emotion) and consideration when the situation demands. The ultimate objective should be a decision that does not cause harm to any person.

Furthermore there are also slightly different type of  people who have a mental inclination to rise beyond self and the family so as to pay back to the society for all that he has got from it. And with this thinking he selflessly devotes himself to activities with an intension to serve the under privileged class of people in the society. And for engaging in such activities, he applies the intellect with logic as upliftment of the above stated class of people as the very purpose of his endeavor. And in practical activities at the ground level, he uses his positive emotions like compassion, love and empathy towards these people. This is the guiding motive of his voluntary engagement in this type of activity. Thus, here it can be seen that both logic and emotions are deployed in a very meaningful.

Having said all the above, but ultimately what should the common general guideline for a way forward applicable in any of the above stated type of world whether professional, societal or family relation). Well, that is something which has to be based on a harmonious blend of both logic and emotions where none of the persons involved are put at loss or harmed in any way.

WHY NOT TO LOOK AT THE NEGATIVE SIDE OF ANY SITUATION IN LIFE

                                       EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY IN HUMAN AFFAIRS

SO, THERE SHOULD BE NO ELATION IN

PROSPERITY OR DEPRESSION IN

ADVERSITY.

         -        SOCRATES.

          To look at the positive or negative side of any difficult situation in life is exclusively a matter of individual choice. But a person who realises the fact what has been stated in the above quote would perhaps not find it more difficult to hold his mental state in an adverse situation. The choice that the person makes depends on his perception and understanding of the situation. And the type of choice that a person makes is based on his outlook on life. This again varies from person to person and so are his /her response and reaction to the given situation. The factors that impact the type of choice that a person makes is based fundamentally on the nature and quality of his thoughts. The attributes or aspects of the THOUGHTS that dictate his understanding of a situation are as under.

1.    Imaginations.

2.    Perceptions.

3.    Beliefs.

4.    Analysis of a situation.

5.    Judgement of the situation.

 Now let us go into details of how the above aspects of thought are interrelated that lead to the ultimate reaction in the given situation. The reaction chain of a normal person in the face of an adverse situation begins with his /her imagination immediately of the negative side of it. And it happens quite spontaneously without an understanding of the situation and hence is bound to be wrong. However, an emotionally balanced person knowing and realizing the temporal nature of any event good or bad would not straightway imagine similarly but mentally explore to find a positive side to it, by making a conscious choice. Imagination leads to the formation of a perception which in turn develops into a belief as a consequence. Now, a person with a negative outlook or an emotionally sensitive person would not be in the mental state to go deeper into analyzing and looking towards finding a way out of it because his emotional, mental and physical state prevents him. This is in contrast to a positive-minded person, who with his analysis-based understanding of the situation would not lose hope and consider it a hopeless situation. As the saying goes “All dark clouds have a silver lining”. He would instead with his positivity go forth towards finding a positive side to the whole situation The judgment that a wise person makes after his analysis of the situation would dictate his reaction, who knows that the storm of bad times will pass away like a passing cloud. And so holding on with patience and perseverance is the only way to overcome it. Whereas the emotional person with a negative outlook is mentally fragile thru his negative imagination and perception forms a belief in the negative direction and would react with an emotional outburst instead of analyzing the situation and judging his own mental response before making a proper reaction.

Below is the link to a video clip that depicts the story of a physically disabled king who is depicted by a painter in such a way that his physical disability is not visible in the painting. That is why the king rewards the painter's ingenuity by only depicting his positive side and hiding his physical disability.

YOU WILL NEVER THINK NEGATIVELY after watching this motivational story

SOURCES AND DIMENSIONS OF HUMAN SUFFERING

                                            " ALL THINGS ARISE AND PASS AWAY"

                                                                           --- Buddha

The above quote from Buddha though sounds very simple, yet it is very profound. It is telling us how to face and react to suffering. 

Sufferings are an integral part of human life which comes and goes cyclically alternating with periods of pleasure. This is the balance that happens through a natural process during our lifetime.  But to understand this unpleasant and unwelcome aspect of our life, we need to first know exactly what it is actually. Let me define it in a general simple term.

“Suffering is that affliction which impacts the body or mind or both simultaneously that is caused by innumerable factors which could be from within our body or from  external factors that may be things; events; people or ideas.”

No human being is inherently adaptive to suffering in any form or from any source. But there is wisdom  in accepting the inevitable reality that suffering is a part of human life and so acceptance of the same with fortitude is the only way forward. For a wise person, adaptation comes sooner than an average normal person because he is always aware of the unpleasant inevitabilities of life. The sooner this fact is realised by a normal person the sooner he recovers from the shock of it.

But to have a better understanding in some depth, the issue of human suffering we need to go into the details of various sources that cause this affliction.

Broadly speaking the sources are as follows.

A.   A.  From own body and mind.

B.    B. From the outside world that is beyond our control.

C.   C. Time, past present and future.

D.    D. Natural calamities.

 

A.    From own body and mind.

This can be further classified into two sub-sources, as follows.

                             i.          From mental misbalances in the absence of physical ailments.

                           ii.           Mental impact originating from physical ailments.

 

                            i.          From mental misbalances in the absence of physical ailments

When mental issues occur (in the absence of any physical problem) the reason can be from an external source due to certain unexpected and unpleasant events over which he may or may not have had any control to avert it. The other dimension of it could be due to some  imagination of an untoward event which may or may not at all have any probability of occurrence. These are illusory manifestations in the mind without anything to do with the reality of the situation. And hence absolutely baseless. Such people need to undergo psychiatric treatment.

                           ii.          Mental impact originating from physical ailments.

However physical ailments are more often the potent source that causes a mental impact and brings suffering which manifests externally as visible symptoms that deserve medical attention.  A more emotional person is more often mentally more fragile and hence is more affected. Conversely, an emotionally stable person is less impacted because of his higher level of mental strength achieved thru enhancing his level of tolerance to the impact of the physical ailment.

 

B.    From the outside world that is beyond the control

This is the biggest source from which suffering could come. That could be from a near and dear person (a relation), a friend, society at large or the professional world. And the reason could be due to innumerable reasons and situations. And when there is no way to change or avert the situation i.e. it is beyond the control, the way to handle them is best stated in the below-given quote  

 

 WHEN WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO CHANGE A SITUATION

 WE ARE CHALLENGED TO CHANGE OURSELVES.

-          Viktor Frankl.

In the above quote, by the words " Challenged to change " the author means, that what matters in such a situation "Is our reaction".

C.    Time, past and future

Time is nature's parameter that eternally flows in the forward direction. And this has three fundamental attributes that impact all creatures on earth, the past, present and future.

And this has special importance for the human beings, as for them, everything in life is related to what has happened, happenings or would happen. The present is the most valuable aspect since that is in our control to utilise and manage it to the best of our abilities. The future has not yet come and so is also not in his hand and is full of uncertainties. Hence except for the present, the other two are not in our control. Suffering in the present most often comes from unpleasant memories of past events or past actions. 

 

D.    Natural calamities

Nature is all-powerful and has a pattern of the way it operates, that causes a change of season that has an enormous impact on all living creatures on earth. Man is dependent on nature and never the reverse. At certain times the vagaries of nature cause calamities like floods, earthquakes and hurricanes that cause unimaginable devastation of life and property. And these are events over which humanity has no control. They bring too much suffering to mankind

  But, how should we react to every type of  situation (pleasant and unpleasant) is best presented in the video clip in the link which is given below.

How "YOU WILL NEVER FEEL SAD IN HARD TIMES "  i.e. in suffering.

         

 

WHAT HUMAN BEINGS CANNOT AND WHAT HE CAN CONTROL

 

The human mind is very flickering and keeps jumping from one thing to the other. That is why frequently the mood shifts from the moment of happiness or sadness; pleasure or pain; delightful or dejected; anger or calmness; hatred or compassion etc. These are some of the innumerable mental reactions that occur because of factors of the external world or inner world due to arousal of emotions as a reaction to the corresponding situation. And these happen within an individual inadvertently because of his inability to control the mind. We all know that the most difficult thing to control in the world for a human being is his mind. The fundamental reason for this is his unawareness of factors that are not within his control and those that are within his control so that he can accordingly exercise his intellect to tame his mind when necessary. And so restrain from reacting to things or situations that are not in his control. Conversely, respond accordingly to situations of nature that demands his reaction or intervention.

First, we will go into detail about factors that are not under his control.

1. Controlling people.

2. Controlling time.

3. Controlling nature.

 

We will discuss here the nature of interaction with the above factors to understand why these are not under human control.

 

Controlling people.

In a democratic society, every individual has the freedom to express his or her opinions, suggestions or reactions. But most people deploying these attributes of freedom want to run everything as per their terms and try to maintain control over other person’s thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions, likes and dislikes etc. Before behaving in this way, we should know if we need to control the other person or should we control ourselves?

It is common human nature to control everything except ourselves. And that is why we land in a sad and disturbed state with mental unrest. The truth is we don’t have control over every aspect of our lives, so how are we to control others with whom we interact. There are a lot of things that lie beyond an individual’s control. The real fallout of the above-stated behaviour of what we do without realising that in this way we want to be controlled by them. This is because when the other person refuses to act according to us, we feel mentally disturbed in not having been able to control the person and thus indirectly we get controlled by that person. Thus in this situation, our freedom and hence peace of mind depends on that person or thing that we wanted to control, but are not able to. Another dimension to this issue is the fact is, how that person treats you is also not in your control.

Thus the sad reality would continue to remain and make our lives woefully unhappy. So it is worthwhile accepting and start practising to stop controlling others and focus on controlling self. This would enable us to come out of the mental unrest that develops inside us from time to time and would enable us to access more peace in our minds.

 

Controlling time

We human beings have no control over time, i.e. the past and future. What has happened in the past cannot come back and so is not possible to change. Thus it is better to LET GO of the past.  Similarly, the future can only be anticipated with a certain amount of probability, it can never be foreknown with certainty hence cannot be controlled. So at best be prepared with a positive and stable state of mind and wait for the unfolding of the future.

Time is an eternal parameter of nature manifested in flow as an eternal process and hence cannot be controlled by man. At best it can be managed to make the best possible use of it.

 

Controlling nature.

Human beings cannot control nature or the nature of reality. All phenomena of nature like the cycles of season changes on one hand that brings immense benefit to human beings, on the other hand, brings unpredictable events in calamities like floods, earthquakes, cyclones and epidemics that cause tremendous suffering, loss of life and property. Human beings at best take steps to prevent or reduce the impact on them by taking precautionary measures but cannot prevent their occurrence.

 The above factors that human beings are subjected to, with no control on their occurrence or prevention, the best way to respond to are to accept them and let go. And this mental approach is the only option we human beings are left with.

 Well, now we would go into the factors that are under human control.

As per Buddha, three things in human life is under the control and those are; the thoughts that come from the way we think, the images that we visualise in the mind and the action that we take.

Thus, from the above, we can see that the best course that should be adopted in life is to engage ourselves in only those factors that are under our control. And in this way free ourselves from sadness and mental unrest by letting go of what all cannot be controlled. Adopting this attitude enables us to lead a life of mental peace and happiness.